4 Ways to Slow Down this Holiday Season, and Other Times Too

Note: Written by Guest, Angela Duncan, creator of the upcoming virtualsidekick.us 

Imagine your packing a suitcase. It’s a large suitcase, whichever color you prefer, with lots of little pockets and compartments for hundreds of things. You’re deciding what to put in it, and you decide the more you can stuff in, the better off you’ll be. You can never be too prepared, right?

Now you’re packed, the seams are stretched and ready to burst. You go to move the suitcase, but it’s too heavy to pick up. The wheels are pressed into the carpet and it won’t budge. You open it again to see if there’s something you can leave behind. You can’t decide! Your family is waiting in the car and you’re going to miss your flight if you don’t leave now.

Sound stressful? Now imagine that suitcase is your life. It’s overflowing with everything you need to do: dishes, laundry, work, appointments, responsibilities, and more. You’re hauling around this massive case, with no end in sight. You’re tired, overwhelmed, and on the verge of tears. Now tie a big fir tree to your back, because it’s December. The most stressful time of the year.

So how do we slow down and reclaim some time to enjoy this Holiday season? Here are a few suggestions:

1) Say no. Don’t roll your eyes. It’s actually something people do! Some of the busiest, most successful people will preach that in order to be productive and happy you must learn to say no. On John Lee Dumas’s podcast, Entrepreneurs on Fire, he asks each of his guests, all successful business people, “How do you protect your time?” The answer is almost always the same. Learn to say no. Say no to housework, no to your employer, no to your in-laws. Do it! Politely, of course, and not all the time, but when you feel that what is being asked of you is too much, say no. You’ll feel relieved when you do, and most people will understand, and if they don’t, I have to wonder how heavy their suitcase is.

2) Stop multitasking. It can actually slow you down and cause a ton of stress. For a long time, multitasking was thought to be a good skill to have. Being a multitask-er meant you could cook dinner, talk on the phone, and keep an eye on your crawling baby all at the same time. While it's true you can probably do these things simultaneously, we need to ask ourselves if this is wise. Is your friend on the phone really being heard? The baby never wanders off? And dinner never burns? What about your stress-level during those minutes? 

I have a bad habit of trying to read more than one book at a time. I will often read a chapter in one book, then a chapter in another; back-and-forth. I didn't realize how much my reading time was being hindered by this. It actually takes me more time to read two books this way, then it would if I read them one at a time! The mere stress I get (and time wasted!) from trying to decide which book to pick up first should be a big indication to just choose one. 

Sometimes it's difficult for us to not multitask, but I'd like to encourage you to give it up. Give one task your full attention until it's done. Of course, interruptions happen, but then give the interruption the attention it requires, until it's settled, and you can go back to the first task. You'll be amazed at the quality of everything you do, and I bet you'll feel less stress and more at peace.

3) Find time for leisure. In preparation for writing this, I searched for synonyms for “busyness” (yes that’s the kind of brainstorming I do), and I got distracted by the antonyms: laziness, idleness, apathy, negligence, the list goes on. All negative. No positive.

So I thought of what I’m doing when I’m not busy. I wouldn’t say I’m indifferent, lazy, apathetic, or ignorant. I’d say I’m resting, enjoying free time, relaxing, meditating. This list goes on too. So I have to wonder, when did leisure become a sin? 

In Brigid Schulte’s book, Overwhelmed, she discusses women's interviews on busyness: "We assume that if people aren't busy, then they must be lazy," she told them."I don't know how people would not be busy," sniffed another. "I'm so tired, I need a sabbatical," one woman said before quickly vowing she would never take one, as if that would be admitting a lack of stamina to keep up.

We work to have leisure, on which happiness depends. - Aristotle

Don’t work, work, work and never take leisure time. It’s necessary for health and happiness, and you’ve earned it.

4) Don’t be impressed by busyness. Oliver Burkeman refers to ‘busy-bragging’ as an epidemic in which everyone talks about how busy they are, as if it’s something to be envious of.

People are competing about being busy. It’s about showing status. That if you’re busy, you’re important. You’re leading a full and worthy life. There’s a real ‘busier than thou’ attitude… – Ann Burnett

Don’t participate in the competition. In a society where busyness is the norm, and leisure is considered laziness, it’s hard not to get swept away by the need to convince others how busy your life is. Even when life isn’t busy, we say things like, “we’re doing things around the house this weekend, “Or I’m making plans for…” the next stretch of busyness. It’s rare that anyone admits they’re relaxing on a weekend. Even our vacations are “go, go, go” times (like the plastic army men from Toy Story).

Make an effort to not talk about your busyness, even if your life is hectic. Talking about it elevates stress and does nothing for productivity.

The next time someone asks you how you are try saying something besides "busy." When someone asks you what you’re doing for the weekend, try saying you’re "taking it easy." You’ll get responses like "isn’t that nice" (sarcastic), "I wish I had nothing to do" (sincere, but also stings), or they’ll make suggestions for what you can do (politely decline). At the very least, it’s an interesting experiment.

This season, try lightening your suitcase by unloading a lot. Don’t add any more to it, don’t brag about how heavy it is or how strong you are, set it down for some leisure time, and maybe do something to lighten someone else’s load. It is time for giving after all.

If you have other suggestions on how to slow down, leave a comment below. I'd love to hear them. Happy Holidays!